- *Talking about career choices*
- People: Do what you love!
- Me: I will, once we get married.
- People: What?
- Me: I love Messi.
- People: ....
- Friend: Hey wanna go grab some ice cream?
- Me: Sure, but somewhere with dulce de leche please, it's Messi's favorite dessert so it's automatically my favorite flavor!
- Friend 2: Hey I am getting us soda, what do you guys want?
- Me: Is that a question? PEPSI of course, in case you didn't see these, here are the commercials Messi played in for Pepsi. That's what makes Pepsi the best.
- Friend 3: Well....Chips anyone?
- Me: LAYS! Messi likes lays, I know cause he played in its commercial too, and there was this scene when he looks at the chips like he is gonna make out with it and I love that scene because I imagine myself to be the chips!!
- Friends: *all of them slowly inch away from me*
Turns out Messi had an undercover “find the right girl” operation going on in his house and he had hired all these extremely professional spies and agents to track down and record all of his fans, their individual information, their blogs and diaries and rooms and how they look, to find the right girl for himself, and Antonella was just a girl being paid to act like his girlfriend….so be on the lookout for any microscopic cameras around your house, just saying.
Once upon a time, there was a girl who was very ordinary. But not like Bella Swan ordinary, a little better. Then this guy who was extremely gorgeous, with brown eyes, and white skin that would make vampires jealous came into her world…no no he BECAME her world. Because she fell in love. Not the lion and the lamb story kind of a way, but the Messi and Nurbanu kind of a way. Which is when the girl is in love with the guy crazily and unhealthily but the guy doesn’t know that she exists(yet)…
- Mou: "Without winning the Champions League, without winning the Spanish League, how can Messi win the Ballon D'Or?"
- Me: Bitch, he will win it like a boss. Shut your brain.
Dang those arms
I don’t know about you. I love how the new jersey looks on Messi. Not to mention the captains armband….
- Teacher: *Talking about recombinant DNA*
- Me: boring...
- Teacher: blah blah
- Teacher: There is a famous soccer player-
- Me: OH MY GOD! NO WAY! I KNOW THIS!!!
- Class: *looks at me like i'm an alien*
- Teacher: *smiles* Go on...
- Me: Ok, so his name is Leo Messi, when he was small he was diagnosed with GHD which stands for Growth Hormone Deficiency, he couldn't grow and was short, and he needed injections to get better, but his family couldn't afford it. He played soccer really good and one day a manager of his current club which happens to be FC BARCELONA, sees him and they say we will pay for your treatment if you move to Barca, so he does and he is now better.
- Teacher: Thank you
- Class: She is not one of us....
- Me: I am so proud of myself...
- People around the world: YAAAY OLYMPICS!!!
- Me: Who cares? There is a Barca friendly tomorrow. and Messi is playing <3
